Sunday, August 8, 2010

how much can god hate me?

i already have lots on my plate and god wanted me or should i say my parents to worry more. it is already bad enough that they want to send me somewhere so far from home and so malay. now my grandma is sick. i know my parents are worried about me, since i am the only girl in the family and it is my first time leaving home. somehow i felt that things would be different if i am not leaving to somewhere so malay. i felt like my parents would worry less. currently looking for a place to stay is a hassle on top of that my grandma is making lots of noise and is sick. i felt so terrible now. my stress level is worse than that of taking exam. i would rather study for exam than facing this. not only are they sending me to somewhere malay. they are even sending me to somewhere ulu. wtf is wrong with them? why are they punishing me. what have i done so wrong? i felt like none of them gets me. maybe because i am those 100% city girl. honestly i dont like nature. i dont like lay back life style. i dont like to sit n do nothing. urrrrggghhhhh! somehow no one gets me! they just think i dont want to change. i dont mind change but not so drastic change. cant it be gradually? cant it be more gentle.

No comments: