defeated

i feel so defeated thanks to you. somehow you manage to make me feel defeated and speechless. you manage to drive me up the wall by making me wonder day and night about you. but i think OTC would not agree with this. she would just tell me that i am thinking too much hopefully she is right! otherwise i really do feel defeated and i am planning to give you up for good. for once i told my besties that i would rather go back to KB as it gives me less stress all because of you. the thought of telling you how i feel always linger in my mind yet i could not bring myself to tell you when i talk to you. if only there are ways to test you. someone mind to share with me?