Lonely

i have never felt so lonely until i reach this place. it actually got me thinking of a lot of things. recently i went back home with the thought of spending less money. so i ended up staying at home utilising my unlimited wifi at home till the max. i streamed some dramas and one of them is a fairy tale drama. it somehow caught my attention and got me crying at touchy scenes. somehow i feel like i am missing something in life that is being able to love someone. i have not open my heart to anyone, told anyone what is actually in my mind nor express my true feelings to that someone. i have to admit i am envious of those who actually found someone. sometimes i really wonder when is it my turn? is it me being picky? or i am just not ready for any of this? or maybe i like the same kind. i really dont know. i guess in the mean time all i can do is sit still and see what happens.