sleep

how long am i going to be in this sleepy mode? i need to wake up as soon as possible. where is the prince charming to wake sleeping beauty up?

the real truth is i need a reality check. maybe if i seen it with my own eyes. then i will move on. till now i am still hoping for something that is so impossible. maybe it is like someone said it. i missed the boat a long time ago

nightmare

of all dreams i dream of being retained here. wtf!

would our wishes be a reality?

sometimes life can be so frustrating. if only wishes do come true. somehow what i wish for came true but it did not fully came true. it is like i get something i want but it is not what i really wanted. dmaybe it is just like what a friend of mine said. i am just too demanding. guess it cannot be helped

dress code

what is wrong with them. urrrrggghhh my dress code again

wtf to all of them la

cant you see you cannot change me

go to hell people

hope you burn in hell

bloody idiot

bloody idiot. you only know how to think about yourself. haih the real world is like that. regardless of what you are an idiot!

12 hrs of sleep!

wow i didnt know i can sleep so much! in fact if i am back in kl i would not have sleep for 12 hours. goshies! maybe it is because i have not been well for the past few days. been having diarrhoea, nausea, bloated and vomiting. but i am almost all recover. lol. i guess sleep does help in recovery.

many things had happen for the past few days, it caught me thinking. and i think i have finally cleared my thoughts from all the hassle that i put myself into. i guess i finally realise what is right and what is wrong. finally understood the need to let something go in order to gain something in return. things may not look very good now at least i know i am on the right track.

illl

T_T been ill for the past few days! urrrggghhhh!!!! feel so lazy to do my work cos of this. sore throat, diarrhoea, nausea? what else?

holiday~

otc otc otc ah.. why must you make the holiday so early? i am still not prepare to go there. haih~

starbucks tumbler

T_T my friend just showed me a starbucks tumbler only available at japan. i want one too.. who can help me buy? http://www.starbucks.co.jp/goods/tumbler.html

itchy hand

urrrggghhhh trying to refrain myself from buying that piece of dress. but it is so pretty. what shall i do?

happy valentine's day

like every other day, i would either spend my day at home watching tv, or playing online games or working. this year not much of a difference since i will be working till 9pm. happy valentine's day too all

=0, =), =(, o.0, T_T?

'the only time i see you with so many expression is when you are either facing the phone or the computer' says a friend of mine. i have to admit. i hardly show much expression when i am doing my work or talking to a friend. because most of the time i let them do the talking. but when smsing or messaging a friend. i tend to do more typing then usual. maybe i should learn how to show facial expression in front of a person and not in front of a phone or computer screen.

new design

hehehe... since it is a new year. my blog should have a new layout and design. hopefully this year would be a better year for me.

my pharmacist

since when i am your pharmacist. i didnt agree to that! but when you said those words it made my heart skip a beat. lol.... i dont know what game are you playing but it felt like there are so many fake promises. i dont know what is real and what is not. i guess only time can tell me. hope to see you again!

how well do you know yourself?

sometimes i think that my best friend knows me better than myself. somehow she will anticipate what i would do, what i have gotten myself into and what i like/hate most. being me, stubborn as always never listen to her. and when things go the wrong way i will start pouring out to her. then there would be a good lecturing from her. so typical me. i wonder when would i start listening to good advices.

long chat

it has been awhile sine the last time i had a long chat with someone. this time the long chat didnt come from my besties but from someone i didnt expect from. i wonder where can we go from here? those bits and pieces do make my heart move. but reality is reality i guess i have

sushies

a friend of mine (guess i have finally move on) asked me to fly back home for the weekend so that we can have sushi and it is his treat. who would spend about rm 400 flight go and back just for sushi buffet style. no way man.. i am not dumb though sushi is for free... =P if there is fate i may see you again. hoping the next time i see you again i will be given a chance but i guess it is highly impossible.

juicy steak!

suddenly crave for juicy steak. thanks to my friend who just reminded me that i did not eat bak kut teh when i went back to kl. grrrr...... if only kb got restaurants like those back in kl then i would be a happy person!

ps... i am craving for starbucks tooo... anyone willing to sponsor me a starbucks tumbler?

irony

besties: i am so bored now, come let go out.

me: i have to fly back to kb today.

besties: aiya, you dont need to, just stay and accompany me

me: when i am back you are busy but now that i am leaving you are free ==!

besties: what to do my mom's working periods peaks at festive.

me: why not you come visit me?

besties: nah! you will be busy with work.

lol.... somehow my time and your time dont coincide but i am hoping the next round i come back i get to spend time with you. so much to tell you, miss eating with you, and shopping with you.

New toy

wanted to post something via my new toy. but i could not. oh well back to old school computer....

........

seriously think it would be better if i just leave this place and go somewhere where there is no trouble. things are getting to complicated i dont know what to say, do or act anymore. at least back in kb i know all i would think about is craving to come back home (where all my trouble is). i guess working outside has its own advantages.

defeated

i feel so defeated thanks to you. somehow you manage to make me feel defeated and speechless. you manage to drive me up the wall by making me wonder day and night about you. but i think OTC would not agree with this. she would just tell me that i am thinking too much hopefully she is right! otherwise i really do feel defeated and i am planning to give you up for good. for once i told my besties that i would rather go back to KB as it gives me less stress all because of you. the thought of telling you how i feel always linger in my mind yet i could not bring myself to tell you when i talk to you. if only there are ways to test you. someone mind to share with me?

addiction

somehow after one dose of you made me feel like i need more. made me feel like i want more. it felt as though that one dose is not enough. but i know things are impossible so i should not hope for more. if only my holidays are not so short then we would be able to spend more time together. you really made me wonder a lot and did many silly things. one thing that i cant do is confess. every time i thought of it but i could not take my courage to do so. i am afraid of rejection as the saying goes ignorant is bliss

expressive

i somehow felt like i am lacking expressive skill. or was it because i am over protecting myself by building walls around me? it felt like i didnt express my feeling much to let people know what i am thinking. =P

happy chinese new year

hopefully rabbit year would be a better year for me. i only have two wishes and hopefully both my wishes come true.! happy chinese new year to everyone and may it be a year full of happiness and prosperity. oh not to forget about health. hopefully i wont see many sick people in the hospital!

confused

i have not felt like that for a very long time. a sudden burst of confusion flood into my mind. did you really read my blog? saw what i wrote? or do you have other intentions? i really cant tell. somehow i had a feeling you have other intentions. why ask me out as soon as you are back? and i thought you are going to ignore me. maybe i think too much. i need to calm down!

what has God install for me?

i am curious to know what has God installed for me this year.

curious to know if i would meet you again.

curious if you are coming back this year.

curious if this year would be a better than the previous ones.

curious if i am able to transfer back home.

so many things in my mind i dont know where to start. i guess somethings happen for a reason. though i may have hurt you but i dont think it is right for me to make it up. i am sorry if i am a cold hearted person but i really cannot accept you.

every cloud has a sliver lining

true as it is. i was having a bad day when i have to work with colleague #10. terrible fellow who only knows how to 'snake his way out'. on top of that the day that i choose to conduct cytotoxic drug reconstitution that is the day with the most preparation and the day with some problem. feeling extremely exhausted after being in the clean room for about 3 hours. problem encounters:

1) wrong solution for infusion. someone super smart instead of providing us with normal saline gave us 3% sodium chloride

2) the rubber band holding my mask to my face broke. i guess my head is too big.

as soon as i am out from the clean room my research partner asked me to accompany her for our proposal presentation. i was like 'urrr ok but i have not eat lunch' *of course i didnt say it out*. while waiting for our turn, i manage to get a gist on how our so call research community board bombard the other groups with question. luckily when it is our turn, not many bombarding but more of correcting. feeling pretty happy and confident now. hehehe... who should they thank? me! as i am the one who found this research journal! haih! but nevermind at least i know where i stand in this place.

tonight suppose to go 'lo sang' with my colleagues but i dont feel like going i just want to stay at home and cuddle with comfort food. dont ask why or what i have been like that lately.

inconsiderate person

colleague #1: why didnt you have breakfast with us?

me: i am not in a good mood today

*actually went breakfast with my housemates*

colleague #2: why are you so quiet today?

me: i have no mood

colleague #2: someone made you angry?

me: yes but i dont want to say who

colleague #2: oh!

i am pretty upset after hearing who i have to work with. wtf! dont dump me with 2 fellows who cannot work. urrrggghhh. idiot! i know you finally found your other half you dont need to treat me like that! at least find someone else that i can work with. hate u! hate u!

reflection

thinking back what have i posted on this blog made me realised that i hardly post happy post. i usually pour my sorrow and misery here. i am so sorry that my readers have to bare with my ranting, whining and sorrow. but actually there are some joy in my life. maybe i find it comforting that i have somewhere to pour my sorrows and miseries. at least i know no one will scold me nor make me feel bad if i pour it here.

Weird

till today i am still curious, why do i attract the ones i am not interested. why? why not those that i am interested. ish! i maybe racist in this sense but why why?? why other races? what happens to those of my kind. felt so depress! when will the right person be there for me?

Catching up

sometimes it is nice to catch up with our friends. i felt bless that my friends do remember me though i can be a pain in the ass. but just don't call me when i am about to SLEEP. for your information i need to work!

i kiss someone's car

haih this morning was in a hassle to work i left something important at home. so i decided to u turn back home. unfortunately it was a wrong move as i was on my way back to the hospital after making a bubu turn there is this lux car (mercedes) drove like a turtle. come on man, you are driving a lux car which has more power than my car yet you are driving like a turtle. as soon as i reach the hospital i could not find any parking. it was depressing as i am not a good driver thanks to some idiot who parked their car perfectly i scratched my car. feeling so depress now. maybe i should go mcd later to get some ice cream to cheer myself up. though it is a small scratch and not very visible but i still feel the pain. my car... poor kid...

coincidence?

why did you appear online after i post the previous post.? did you read it? eventhough your are online you didnt even say hi to me. i wonder did you see me online? maybe not. i guess if i dont take the initiative to say hi to you. you would not even bother to do so. you would only look for me when you need something. i am that boring that you could just ignore. i just i really do not have a place in your heart. i shall just give up hope on you and move on. at least one thing i know for sure as time pass the heart goes fonder. so i guess it is a good thing that you left. if not i would most likely be drown by sorrows and a broken heart. hopefully this year would be a better year where i am able to find someone who truly loves me.

curiosity!

as the days past i wonder will you tell me that you are coming back for chinese new year holiday? will you call me or text me to ask me out again? will we be able to meet up during my chinese new year break? it has been awhile since the last time i saw you or chat with you online. i somehow missed your company. i wonder how have you been? hope everything went well. i guess we are not meant to be. maybe it is just me who fell for you. maybe it would be better if we do not meet during chinese new year break as it will make things easier. it would be easier for me to move on. time to start the year with a new perspective!

free as a bird

finally i am able to go where i like to. i finally got a car and finally am brave enough to drive around alone. weee.... had so much fun!

Lonely

i have never felt so lonely until i reach this place. it actually got me thinking of a lot of things. recently i went back home with the thought of spending less money. so i ended up staying at home utilising my unlimited wifi at home till the max. i streamed some dramas and one of them is a fairy tale drama. it somehow caught my attention and got me crying at touchy scenes. somehow i feel like i am missing something in life that is being able to love someone. i have not open my heart to anyone, told anyone what is actually in my mind nor express my true feelings to that someone. i have to admit i am envious of those who actually found someone. sometimes i really wonder when is it my turn? is it me being picky? or i am just not ready for any of this? or maybe i like the same kind. i really dont know. i guess in the mean time all i can do is sit still and see what happens.