Dream

Till now i am still pondering with the question 'what do you want in your life?'. Somehow in the process of growing up to become an an adult, i lost my way. When i am a kid all i wanted was good grades in school as my parents like all Asian parents will tell their child to study hard so that they will earn big '$$' in the future. But my parents said it with a twist, they would tell me as long as i get good grades i would be able to study aboard. It was in fact one of my dream. But as i grew older i find this dream to be impossible. My dream shattered into pieces. Then as a teenager i have two things in mind, like every teenage girls i would think of getting a boy friend. But i am not willing to scarify my studies for a boy so i choose career (ie: study hard). Later it is time to think about career, it didn't take me long to decide what i want to do. Yet i am not able to go into that field. Why? Well, at that time there are no courses nor job opportunity for that field. So once again i was disappointed. As a results i choose something close to what my initial idea of an ideal career. Yet i didn't really know what i sign up for until my university years. Fortunately i manage to sail through it. Now i am given a secure job. Yet i am still not happy as i am not able to choose where i want to work. Somehow i feel that God is punishing me. I don't know for what reason but i really do felt that way. It seems like everything that i hope for never did happen. All i wish now is that please transfer me back to somewhere more civilise!