some people

i am pretty frustrated with some people. it is not like they are not earning much money yet they still want me to treat them. wtf i know it is christmas and i should not be cursing but i cannot help it. i mean i came back home in debt with my dad as i was not able to transfer money to him when i was away. so i am suppose to give him back all his money. on top of that that someone insist that i need to treat them. everytime i go out with them. i have to treat them yet not once they treat me. what sort of treatment is this. no doubt they did do me some favours like fetching me to go out. but that does not happen often. haih! i feel so broke now. i am sorry la i am pretty stingy when it comes to spending money for other people as i want to use those money for myself. come on i am living in some ulu area. i sure do need some money to pamper myself. so fuck of people. i am not spending a single cent on you. come on i am not as lucky as most of you. idiots!

Dream

Till now i am still pondering with the question 'what do you want in your life?'. Somehow in the process of growing up to become an an adult, i lost my way. When i am a kid all i wanted was good grades in school as my parents like all Asian parents will tell their child to study hard so that they will earn big '$$' in the future. But my parents said it with a twist, they would tell me as long as i get good grades i would be able to study aboard. It was in fact one of my dream. But as i grew older i find this dream to be impossible. My dream shattered into pieces. Then as a teenager i have two things in mind, like every teenage girls i would think of getting a boy friend. But i am not willing to scarify my studies for a boy so i choose career (ie: study hard). Later it is time to think about career, it didn't take me long to decide what i want to do. Yet i am not able to go into that field. Why? Well, at that time there are no courses nor job opportunity for that field. So once again i was disappointed. As a results i choose something close to what my initial idea of an ideal career. Yet i didn't really know what i sign up for until my university years. Fortunately i manage to sail through it. Now i am given a secure job. Yet i am still not happy as i am not able to choose where i want to work. Somehow i feel that God is punishing me. I don't know for what reason but i really do felt that way. It seems like everything that i hope for never did happen. All i wish now is that please transfer me back to somewhere more civilise!