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sleep

2011-03-15T22:22:00.002+08:00

how long am i going to be in this sleepy mode? i need to wake up as soon as possible. where is the prince charming to wake sleeping beauty up?

the real truth is i need a reality check. maybe if i seen it with my own eyes. then i will move on. till now i am still hoping for something that is so impossible. maybe it is like someone said it. i missed the boat a long time ago

nightmare

2011-03-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

of all dreams i dream of being retained here. wtf!

would our wishes be a reality?

2011-03-08T09:37:00.003+08:00

sometimes life can be so frustrating. if only wishes do come true. somehow what i wish for came true but it did not fully came true. it is like i get something i want but it is not what i really wanted. dmaybe it is just like what a friend of mine said. i am just too demanding. guess it cannot be helped

dress code

2011-03-06T19:33:00.000+08:00

what is wrong with them. urrrrggghhh my dress code again

wtf to all of them la

cant you see you cannot change me

go to hell people

hope you burn in hell

bloody idiot

2011-02-27T18:39:00.001+08:00

bloody idiot. you only know how to think about yourself. haih the real world is like that. regardless of what you are an idiot!

12 hrs of sleep!

2011-02-27T01:44:00.002+08:00

wow i didnt know i can sleep so much! in fact if i am back in kl i would not have sleep for 12 hours. goshies! maybe it is because i have not been well for the past few days. been having diarrhoea, nausea, bloated and vomiting. but i am almost all recover. lol. i guess sleep does help in recovery.

many things had happen for the past few days, it caught me thinking. and i think i have finally cleared my thoughts from all the hassle that i put myself into. i guess i finally realise what is right and what is wrong. finally understood the need to let something go in order to gain something in return. things may not look very good now at least i know i am on the right track.

illl

2011-02-24T18:00:00.001+08:00

T_T been ill for the past few days! urrrggghhhh!!!! feel so lazy to do my work cos of this. sore throat, diarrhoea, nausea? what else?

holiday~

2011-02-19T19:47:00.001+08:00

otc otc otc ah.. why must you make the holiday so early? i am still not prepare to go there. haih~

starbucks tumbler

2011-02-16T20:51:00.001+08:00

T_T my friend just showed me a starbucks tumbler only available at japan. i want one too.. who can help me buy? http://www.starbucks.co.jp/goods/tumbler.html

itchy hand

2011-02-15T09:28:00.000+08:00

urrrggghhhh trying to refrain myself from buying that piece of dress. but it is so pretty. what shall i do?

happy valentine's day

2011-02-14T08:50:00.002+08:00

like every other day, i would either spend my day at home watching tv, or playing online games or working. this year not much of a difference since i will be working till 9pm. happy valentine's day too all

=0, =), =(, o.0, T_T?

2011-02-13T06:39:00.003+08:00

'the only time i see you with so many expression is when you are either facing the phone or the computer' says a friend of mine. i have to admit. i hardly show much expression when i am doing my work or talking to a friend. because most of the time i let them do the talking. but when smsing or messaging a friend. i tend to do more typing then usual. maybe i should learn how to show facial expression in front of a person and not in front of a phone or computer screen.

new design

2011-02-12T22:09:00.001+08:00

hehehe... since it is a new year. my blog should have a new layout and design. hopefully this year would be a better year for me.

my pharmacist

2011-02-12T17:11:00.002+08:00

since when i am your pharmacist. i didnt agree to that! but when you said those words it made my heart skip a beat. lol.... i dont know what game are you playing but it felt like there are so many fake promises. i dont know what is real and what is not. i guess only time can tell me. hope to see you again!

how well do you know yourself?

2011-02-12T09:16:00.002+08:00

sometimes i think that my best friend knows me better than myself. somehow she will anticipate what i would do, what i have gotten myself into and what i like/hate most. being me, stubborn as always never listen to her. and when things go the wrong way i will start pouring out to her. then there would be a good lecturing from her. so typical me. i wonder when would i start listening to good advices.

long chat

2011-02-11T02:54:00.001+08:00

it has been awhile sine the last time i had a long chat with someone. this time the long chat didnt come from my besties but from someone i didnt expect from. i wonder where can we go from here? those bits and pieces do make my heart move. but reality is reality i guess i have

sushies

2011-02-10T17:52:00.002+08:00

a friend of mine (guess i have finally move on) asked me to fly back home for the weekend so that we can have sushi and it is his treat. who would spend about rm 400 flight go and back just for sushi buffet style. no way man.. i am not dumb though sushi is for free... =P if there is fate i may see you again. hoping the next time i see you again i will be given a chance but i guess it is highly impossible.

juicy steak!

2011-02-09T21:58:00.002+08:00

suddenly crave for juicy steak. thanks to my friend who just reminded me that i did not eat bak kut teh when i went back to kl. grrrr...... if only kb got restaurants like those back in kl then i would be a happy person!

ps... i am craving for starbucks tooo... anyone willing to sponsor me a starbucks tumbler?

irony

2011-02-09T06:55:00.002+08:00

besties: i am so bored now, come let go out.

me: i have to fly back to kb today.

besties: aiya, you dont need to, just stay and accompany me

me: when i am back you are busy but now that i am leaving you are free ==!

besties: what to do my mom's working periods peaks at festive.

me: why not you come visit me?

besties: nah! you will be busy with work.

lol.... somehow my time and your time dont coincide but i am hoping the next round i come back i get to spend time with you. so much to tell you, miss eating with you, and shopping with you.

New toy

2011-02-07T14:46:00.002+08:00

wanted to post something via my new toy. but i could not. oh well back to old school computer....

........

2011-02-06T10:19:00.002+08:00

seriously think it would be better if i just leave this place and go somewhere where there is no trouble. things are getting to complicated i dont know what to say, do or act anymore. at least back in kb i know all i would think about is craving to come back home (where all my trouble is). i guess working outside has its own advantages.

defeated

2011-02-05T08:05:00.002+08:00

i feel so defeated thanks to you. somehow you manage to make me feel defeated and speechless. you manage to drive me up the wall by making me wonder day and night about you. but i think OTC would not agree with this. she would just tell me that i am thinking too much hopefully she is right! otherwise i really do feel defeated and i am planning to give you up for good. for once i told my besties that i would rather go back to KB as it gives me less stress all because of you. the thought of telling you how i feel always linger in my mind yet i could not bring myself to tell you when i talk to you. if only there are ways to test you. someone mind to share with me?

addiction

2011-02-03T18:47:00.002+08:00

somehow after one dose of you made me feel like i need more. made me feel like i want more. it felt as though that one dose is not enough. but i know things are impossible so i should not hope for more. if only my holidays are not so short then we would be able to spend more time together. you really made me wonder a lot and did many silly things. one thing that i cant do is confess. every time i thought of it but i could not take my courage to do so. i am afraid of rejection as the saying goes ignorant is bliss

expressive

2011-02-02T22:17:00.001+08:00

i somehow felt like i am lacking expressive skill. or was it because i am over protecting myself by building walls around me? it felt like i didnt express my feeling much to let people know what i am thinking. =P

happy chinese new year

2011-02-02T12:17:00.003+08:00

hopefully rabbit year would be a better year for me. i only have two wishes and hopefully both my wishes come true.! happy chinese new year to everyone and may it be a year full of happiness and prosperity. oh not to forget about health. hopefully i wont see many sick people in the hospital!

confused

2011-01-31T06:33:00.002+08:00

i have not felt like that for a very long time. a sudden burst of confusion flood into my mind. did you really read my blog? saw what i wrote? or do you have other intentions? i really cant tell. somehow i had a feeling you have other intentions. why ask me out as soon as you are back? and i thought you are going to ignore me. maybe i think too much. i need to calm down!

what has God install for me?

2011-01-29T18:10:00.002+08:00

i am curious to know what has God installed for me this year.

curious to know if i would meet you again.

curious if you are coming back this year.

curious if this year would be a better than the previous ones.

curious if i am able to transfer back home.

so many things in my mind i dont know where to start. i guess somethings happen for a reason. though i may have hurt you but i dont think it is right for me to make it up. i am sorry if i am a cold hearted person but i really cannot accept you.

every cloud has a sliver lining

2011-01-24T18:09:00.002+08:00

true as it is. i was having a bad day when i have to work with colleague #10. terrible fellow who only knows how to 'snake his way out'. on top of that the day that i choose to conduct cytotoxic drug reconstitution that is the day with the most preparation and the day with some problem. feeling extremely exhausted after being in the clean room for about 3 hours. problem encounters:

1) wrong solution for infusion. someone super smart instead of providing us with normal saline gave us 3% sodium chloride

2) the rubber band holding my mask to my face broke. i guess my head is too big.

as soon as i am out from the clean room my research partner asked me to accompany her for our proposal presentation. i was like 'urrr ok but i have not eat lunch' *of course i didnt say it out*. while waiting for our turn, i manage to get a gist on how our so call research community board bombard the other groups with question. luckily when it is our turn, not many bombarding but more of correcting. feeling pretty happy and confident now. hehehe... who should they thank? me! as i am the one who found this research journal! haih! but nevermind at least i know where i stand in this place.

tonight suppose to go 'lo sang' with my colleagues but i dont feel like going i just want to stay at home and cuddle with comfort food. dont ask why or what i have been like that lately.

inconsiderate person

2011-01-23T20:13:00.002+08:00

colleague #1: why didnt you have breakfast with us?

me: i am not in a good mood today

*actually went breakfast with my housemates*

colleague #2: why are you so quiet today?

me: i have no mood

colleague #2: someone made you angry?

me: yes but i dont want to say who

colleague #2: oh!

i am pretty upset after hearing who i have to work with. wtf! dont dump me with 2 fellows who cannot work. urrrggghhh. idiot! i know you finally found your other half you dont need to treat me like that! at least find someone else that i can work with. hate u! hate u!

reflection

2011-01-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

thinking back what have i posted on this blog made me realised that i hardly post happy post. i usually pour my sorrow and misery here. i am so sorry that my readers have to bare with my ranting, whining and sorrow. but actually there are some joy in my life. maybe i find it comforting that i have somewhere to pour my sorrows and miseries. at least i know no one will scold me nor make me feel bad if i pour it here.

Weird

2011-01-18T17:26:00.004+08:00

till today i am still curious, why do i attract the ones i am not interested. why? why not those that i am interested. ish! i maybe racist in this sense but why why?? why other races? what happens to those of my kind. felt so depress! when will the right person be there for me?

Catching up

2011-01-17T19:52:00.001+08:00

sometimes it is nice to catch up with our friends. i felt bless that my friends do remember me though i can be a pain in the ass. but just don't call me when i am about to SLEEP. for your information i need to work!

i kiss someone's car

2011-01-16T18:04:00.003+08:00

haih this morning was in a hassle to work i left something important at home. so i decided to u turn back home. unfortunately it was a wrong move as i was on my way back to the hospital after making a bubu turn there is this lux car (mercedes) drove like a turtle. come on man, you are driving a lux car which has more power than my car yet you are driving like a turtle. as soon as i reach the hospital i could not find any parking. it was depressing as i am not a good driver thanks to some idiot who parked their car perfectly i scratched my car. feeling so depress now. maybe i should go mcd later to get some ice cream to cheer myself up. though it is a small scratch and not very visible but i still feel the pain. my car... poor kid...

coincidence?

2011-01-15T13:58:00.002+08:00

why did you appear online after i post the previous post.? did you read it? eventhough your are online you didnt even say hi to me. i wonder did you see me online? maybe not. i guess if i dont take the initiative to say hi to you. you would not even bother to do so. you would only look for me when you need something. i am that boring that you could just ignore. i just i really do not have a place in your heart. i shall just give up hope on you and move on. at least one thing i know for sure as time pass the heart goes fonder. so i guess it is a good thing that you left. if not i would most likely be drown by sorrows and a broken heart. hopefully this year would be a better year where i am able to find someone who truly loves me.

curiosity!

2011-01-14T20:44:00.002+08:00

as the days past i wonder will you tell me that you are coming back for chinese new year holiday? will you call me or text me to ask me out again? will we be able to meet up during my chinese new year break? it has been awhile since the last time i saw you or chat with you online. i somehow missed your company. i wonder how have you been? hope everything went well. i guess we are not meant to be. maybe it is just me who fell for you. maybe it would be better if we do not meet during chinese new year break as it will make things easier. it would be easier for me to move on. time to start the year with a new perspective!

free as a bird

2011-01-14T10:43:00.001+08:00

finally i am able to go where i like to. i finally got a car and finally am brave enough to drive around alone. weee.... had so much fun!

Lonely

2011-01-13T06:32:00.003+08:00

i have never felt so lonely until i reach this place. it actually got me thinking of a lot of things. recently i went back home with the thought of spending less money. so i ended up staying at home utilising my unlimited wifi at home till the max. i streamed some dramas and one of them is a fairy tale drama. it somehow caught my attention and got me crying at touchy scenes. somehow i feel like i am missing something in life that is being able to love someone. i have not open my heart to anyone, told anyone what is actually in my mind nor express my true feelings to that someone. i have to admit i am envious of those who actually found someone. sometimes i really wonder when is it my turn? is it me being picky? or i am just not ready for any of this? or maybe i like the same kind. i really dont know. i guess in the mean time all i can do is sit still and see what happens.

some people

2010-12-25T09:24:00.002+08:00

i am pretty frustrated with some people. it is not like they are not earning much money yet they still want me to treat them. wtf i know it is christmas and i should not be cursing but i cannot help it. i mean i came back home in debt with my dad as i was not able to transfer money to him when i was away. so i am suppose to give him back all his money. on top of that that someone insist that i need to treat them. everytime i go out with them. i have to treat them yet not once they treat me. what sort of treatment is this. no doubt they did do me some favours like fetching me to go out. but that does not happen often. haih! i feel so broke now. i am sorry la i am pretty stingy when it comes to spending money for other people as i want to use those money for myself. come on i am living in some ulu area. i sure do need some money to pamper myself. so fuck of people. i am not spending a single cent on you. come on i am not as lucky as most of you. idiots!

Dream

2010-12-17T18:35:00.003+08:00

Till now i am still pondering with the question 'what do you want in your life?'. Somehow in the process of growing up to become an an adult, i lost my way. When i am a kid all i wanted was good grades in school as my parents like all Asian parents will tell their child to study hard so that they will earn big '$$' in the future. But my parents said it with a twist, they would tell me as long as i get good grades i would be able to study aboard. It was in fact one of my dream. But as i grew older i find this dream to be impossible. My dream shattered into pieces. Then as a teenager i have two things in mind, like every teenage girls i would think of getting a boy friend. But i am not willing to scarify my studies for a boy so i choose career (ie: study hard). Later it is time to think about career, it didn't take me long to decide what i want to do. Yet i am not able to go into that field. Why? Well, at that time there are no courses nor job opportunity for that field. So once again i was disappointed. As a results i choose something close to what my initial idea of an ideal career. Yet i didn't really know what i sign up for until my university years. Fortunately i manage to sail through it. Now i am given a secure job. Yet i am still not happy as i am not able to choose where i want to work. Somehow i feel that God is punishing me. I don't know for what reason but i really do felt that way. It seems like everything that i hope for never did happen. All i wish now is that please transfer me back to somewhere more civilise!

ups and downs in life

2010-10-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

it has been awhile since the last time i blog. it is not like i have been very busy. it is just that i do not have the mood to do so. everytime when i tell myself i shall blog yet, when i reach this site i dont feel like blogging anymore.

many things had happen for the past few week. i have timetable problem, got angry with someone, got tired of working, worried about my appearance and many more. if i were to make a list. it would be too long.

now i am actually feeling a little upset. after reading a random blog. i felt like there is so many things missing in my life. could it be the path that i have choose? i have read and notice that everyone or should i say most of them already had a relationship in their teens. yet i dont have one. it is not like there is no one interested in me. it is just that i treasure my studies more than anything or am i too choosy? i also dont know. yet till now i still have not been into a relationship. that is why when someone ask me for an opinion in this matter i dont know how to give an advise. i guess i am pretty slow when it comes to this things.

it was not the first time, yet it happens again. why do people like to complain about my dress code? is it too sexy? do i need to cover from top to bottom? should i cover my face too? somehow i think people here are too conservative. what is wrong with wearing a maxi dress? too sexy? there is a cardigan with it and a lab coat. wtf to the people here. who they think they are to complain about my dress code when i didnt even apply to come here. too bad la i am from kl. n i wont follow your conservative dress code. it is not like i am wear some minis with super tight dress. so frustrated. for those Chinese there you could dress like that but none of you dare so dont complain.

Misery

2010-10-04T16:11:00.002+08:00

just landed back to this boring place. feeling a little depress and there is nothing here to make me happier. wish i could take the next flight back home. i really wanna go back to civilisation..... god please i beg you send me back to civilisation ASAP!

Counting Down

2010-09-26T07:10:00.002+08:00

OMG! i am finally going back home so excited.. weeee! god please let my boss approve my leave i really wanna go back home! 3 more days.... weeee

Why Must You Be Such A *****?

2010-09-22T07:15:00.002+08:00

There is this someone at work is driving me up the wall. I wish i have more power to make this person realise how much i hate this person. How can you be so bias? Just because i wanted to take leave to go back home you cannot change everything to prevent me from going back home. WTF! I really think this person should be burn to hell. I mean everything i have planned. All went to the drain thanks to this person. WTF! I hate this person!

First time working at night

2010-09-12T10:14:00.002+08:00

After a few months working late shift in a retail pharmacy i thought i maybe able to sail through a night shift in the hospital. I didnt expect it to be so different. Although working at night can be fun yet it can be stressful and tiring too. 11hours of work without sleep throughout the night can be pretty tiring especially when there is one period where there are no patient queuing up to get their medications. Halfway through the night or one could call it early in the morning i fell a sleep for an hour. It is a good thing or else i would expect myself to be dispensing the wrong medication.

I am quite surprise that on the first night of Raya there would be so many malay patients. Most of them came in for similar reasons;

1) gastric

2) fever + cough + flu (kids)

3) injury

4) diarrhoea

As we all know, chinese usually 'pantang' to be sick during CNY yet most malays tend to fall sick during Raya. lol....

It was kind of stressful working at night the first time not only because i am new but 'my head' likes to observe what i am doing. Which made me feel tense. Somehow i felt like 'my head' is putting pressure on my shoulders. Well, at least now i know how the work flow is like the next time i am confident do it by myself. Hopefully! =P

Running a small pharmacy department by myself?

2010-09-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

I never thought there would be such chaos when i have to run a minor pharmacy department by myself. I dont know why yesterday i decided to do dangerous drug. The pharmacy only supply dangerous drug twice a week and yesterday was supply day. My colleague decide to ask me which do i want to do. One unit dose or dangerous drug(DD)? One unit dose is where we only supply meds to the patients in the ward for one day. In other words, it means we supply them daily. So silly me decided to do dangerous drug. It seems much easier than one unit dose as it does not require me to use a buggy computer. Unfortunately, i come to realise i hate dangerous drug more than one unit dose. Why? Well yesterday i was not thinking right and decided to confirm what drug they wanted. I didnt know that for DD we cannot cancel once it was written. Because after confirming the drug i realise we have shortage of the drug. So i decided to call another department hoping to borrow that drug from them. Who knows they also dont have stock. So i went looking for my boss. WTF both my bosses are on leave. I was like what am i going to do. Then i found out that someone else is substituting my boss. So went and find that fellow, he taught me how to solve the problem and guess what the nurse make lots of noise for not supplying the drug to them. Haih! i felt so hopeless but the truth is i dont know what happen. Urrrggghhh!!!!!! Worse of all in the afternoon i am the only one running the whole department. I was like wow! me alone? Today the same thing happen ==! and my boss substitute finally realise that i am alone so he decided to ask someone to help but too late i have completed everything! =P

Mysterious Company

2010-09-03T14:58:00.002+08:00

It is times like this that i miss you so much. When i am at home with nothing to do, when i am doing the things that we used to do together, when i am longing to do the things that we used to do. Thinking about it make me miss you so much. I really wish i could express my feelings to you, yet i cant. I dont want to risk what we had. I dont want to loose you as a friend. If only i knew you earlier, then things may be different. Why must you leave before i graduate? Why must you already have someone else when i met you?

Working Life

2010-09-03T10:48:00.000+08:00

Daily routine, morning; punch card in. Follow by breakfast (cup of coffee). Start work, screen prescription, calculate amount of drug to be given, send back any prescription errors, check those that had been filled, do DD if it is a Sunday and Wednesday. Followed by lunch. Back from lunch, pick up calls, screen any prescription that came in after lunch, hope for counselling and wait to go home. I have concluded that working life here is so relaxing which is a plus sign. But the working process here is pretty slow. I find that people here like to take their time to do work. I am from a city where everything is fast moving. So bare with my bias view here. Maybe i should learn to be a little slow? Nah! I dont think it is a good idea. I like things moving quickly. but i would not mind working here if there are cinemas, restaurants and shops that i like. I would not feel so upset if i am able to conduct my daily routine here. (ie; shopping, eating and watching movie) Haih! For now i am just hoping to get a car. Once i have a car, i would feel safe as i can travel around without worrying much. Hahahahaha.... If only my driving skills are good. Hmmmm... I guess i need more practice right? Anyone willing to sit beside me for a roller coaster ride? But it will be at your own risk. Gosh! I such a terrible person.

Living away from HOME

2010-08-31T09:21:00.002+08:00

I have always thought living away from home is fun. Of course it is fun, if you like freedom and be more independent. Come to think of it, now i am not having fun. WHY? Well;

The city/town ( i felt as though it is a town even though i know it is a city) is not interesting at all. HOW come? Because this city does not have a cinema nor any interesting shopping mall. The malls here are small with nothing much in it. My perception could be BIAS as I AM A 100% CITY GIRL. Since YOUNG i grew up it with hustle bustle in the city, malls with many shops (usually with IMPORTED ITEMS). I grew up filling my weekend with window shopping or watching a movie or having long branch in an EXPENSIVE restaurant. How can someone like me live in a city with none of this. In my perception, this is a TOWN!
My current house is so empty. There is NO TV, NO ASTRO, NO UNLIMITED INTERNET and my THERAPEUTIC BAKING UTENSILS. I practically have nothing to do here. GOSH! Please kill me someone. If i am not shopping or eating in a restaurant I would most likely STREAMING SERIES or BAKING.
The food here SUCK big time. One would say it cannot be so bad, since there is McD. Well i would not like to eat fast food everyday! Can you imagine eating fast food everyday? With the greasy taste of a burger/chicken and an extreme sweetness of the drink. I may get DIABETES & HEART DISEASES at early age. I come to find that the CHINESE FOOD here taste BAD and the MALAY FOOD here taste SWEET. Now i know why there are so many Malaysians with diabetes. So what would i like to have? I would like JAPANESE, WESTERN, KOREAN, DESSERTS and HOME COOK FOOD. Lol... It is not like i dont know how to cook but i find myself EXTREMELY LAZY to do so.
My work place is so boring. There is SUCH thing? Well, if you are working for the G. You would know the system here is WORK LESS BUT MORE PAY. I know everyone would dream for this job. But i do not like it. You may think i am crazy but honestly i enjoy doing a lot of work as it makes my time pass as soon as possible. I am the type of person who need to BE ON THE GO. I cannot sit around chatting i find time pass slower than anything else.

Right i would like to complain more but i think my brain ran out of its juice so shall end here and continue when i am in EXTREME BOREDOM. Btw there are pros too when living away from home

Things ThaT ONE shouLD appReciaTe

2010-08-30T23:36:00.003+08:00

i always have this impression that everyone will take something for granted. it may not be the same thing but we do unintentionally take something for granted. take classes in university. i used to hate PSD (not sure what does it stands for anymore) session as we have to perform various counsellings on specific medication and devices or history taking or providing information to some simulated patient. i used to think that it is so embarrassing to do such a thing. whenever our lecturer ask for volunteer no one would do so. after 4 years of doing it in class. various mistakes made. various embarrassing moment shared with your batchmates and lecturer. i realise we should have volunteer ourselves. it is very useful now. when i was given the task by my boss to do counseling in front of her i find myself doing better than the other university graduates. i find myself more confident and if they want me to do it in front of them i have no fear compared to those local universities students. when my boss actually told us she had a real patient to do so. they start to worry but i was more than joy to do it. in my opinion not only my university did gave me this confidence but life experience. i somehow felt that working experience can help in this. i have been working for sometime since i graduated at a retail pharmacy and i have learn how to handle customer, how to speak to them, instead of being soft spoke i find myself more loud and more friend ( i am not a very friendly person).

today i did a counselling alone. it was fun. my patient is so enthusiastic to learn. gosh! he knew how to use accuhaler eventhough he had not use it before. he claimed that he saw some of the other patients using it. i was so impress before i can show him how to use it he already showed me how to use it. lol..... this makes counselling easy. weeeee ......

list of things i wanna do when i go home

2010-08-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

1) eat umiya

2) drink starbucks

3) eat hagen dazz

4) eat zanmai

5) eat chillis

6) watch all the movie that is available

7) shop till i drop

8) call Yi wern out

9) get a selangor bf n resgister so that next year i will be back HOME

How Someone Can Make You HAPPY?

2010-08-28T00:30:00.003+08:00

It has been awhile since the last time i see, talk or hang out with you. Somehow deep down in my heart i know i miss you a lot even though i know you that you would not remember me. Seeing you online made me so happy. It felt like a boost of joy since i am was force to be in this place which does not have anything to remind me of you. Talking to you made me even happier. Yet, this happiness only last for a day. I wish you were there for me, but it is impossible. Now i am wondering is it what would happen if i didn't ignore you in the past.

i am ready to jump!

2010-08-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

i never knew life can be so boring. this time i am so bored till i can just jump down the building. gosh! i know i should get a life. but i cannot do much now. waiting to leave for work and waiting to settle down can be so boring. should have spend my time going out. but unfortunately my cash is running low with the worry that they would process my pay after 3 months. T_T! gosh i am having big headache!

how much can god hate me?

2010-08-08T23:10:00.002+08:00

i already have lots on my plate and god wanted me or should i say my parents to worry more. it is already bad enough that they want to send me somewhere so far from home and so malay. now my grandma is sick. i know my parents are worried about me, since i am the only girl in the family and it is my first time leaving home. somehow i felt that things would be different if i am not leaving to somewhere so malay. i felt like my parents would worry less. currently looking for a place to stay is a hassle on top of that my grandma is making lots of noise and is sick. i felt so terrible now. my stress level is worse than that of taking exam. i would rather study for exam than facing this. not only are they sending me to somewhere malay. they are even sending me to somewhere ulu. wtf is wrong with them? why are they punishing me. what have i done so wrong? i felt like none of them gets me. maybe because i am those 100% city girl. honestly i dont like nature. i dont like lay back life style. i dont like to sit n do nothing. urrrrggghhhhh! somehow no one gets me! they just think i dont want to change. i dont mind change but not so drastic change. cant it be gradually? cant it be more gentle.

need to get a life

2010-07-20T23:14:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really do think i need to get a life. my life can be so boring till i fell in love with some minor or main character in a manga and an anime. lately, i have been watching too many animes and reading too many mangas. i should not be sitting at home the whole day doing that i am doing now. i should be having fun somewhere with someone. it is not like there aren't anyone here. it is just that i felt so lazy to go out and i am running low in cash. so in order to save money this is what i do, sit at home and relax. maybe what my friend to me is true. but it is times like that, that makes me miss him more.

inner thoughts

2010-06-28T23:08:00.002+08:00

i know i am suppose to let go. stop thinking about it. forget about and move on. but i could not. urgh! why am i so stubborn and still hang on to some hopes that i know it will never come true. urgh...... shall kick myself in the ass....

1st offer letter

2010-05-27T09:31:00.002+08:00

i finally got my first offer letter. i have so much to complain after receiving this letter. cant the government be more specific in what they want us to do. gosh! they really need to learn how to rephrase their letter and give proper instruction. after getting the letter, instead of bring over joyed i became grumpy. because i dont know what to do. basically, i have been asking around and no one knows what to do. so in the end i have to call up SPA to reconfirm what i need to do. they send the letter together with a few forms and in the letter it says "you must submit the forms within 30days from the letter issued date". WTF i only receive the letter last night and the letter was issued on 18th May. you dont expect me to do medical check up in like 2 weeks time. what if i am on a holiday this time round. so i called them. then they told me: "oh you only need to submit one of the 3 copies of the same form the rest you can keep and wait for the 2nd letter (the one that tells you where you are posted), and if it more than 30days it should not be a problem we will also accept your letter." ==! come on! cant you be more specific in the letter. then according to my friend we may need to submit this letter to the lembaga pharmacy! OMG! they didnt even tell me. but when he called they claimed that they did mention in the briefing. come on man that time we were so worried about passing our finals who would pay so much attention to you and plus it is lecture from one to another. how can one pay so much attention at one time? Haih! these are the people i am going to work for. can you believe it?

one of those days!

2010-05-25T11:02:00.000+08:00

it is one of those days that you wish you were not born. freaking pisssed off i dont know where to start. if i have the money now i will just throw it on your face. so shut up man!

things that cannot be bought

2010-05-22T11:08:00.002+08:00

ever since i started working part time i realise that there are many things that one cannot use money to buy or learn it in lecture. for instance, i accidentally gave my customer the wrong dose of viagra. instead of giving him 100mg i gave him 50mg. if he were to take it. he would be wondering why on earth it did not work. lol... well because i gave him the wrong dose i have to call him up for an exchange. thank god he is a member in the pharmacy that i am working for. fortunately he came back to exchange. hehehehe... lesson learnt that, i should be more careful when giving out medication.
in another senario, patient always use the brand name to buy their medication. sadly, i am still not familar with that. so i have to take an extra effort to ask them what is the medication for before looking for it. cos there are like 100 and more medications in the pharmacy. worse of all sometimes the pharmacy does not have that particular brand that they want and i have to convince them that i have another brand with the same ingredient. gosh it is confusing! but by now i know some medications by their brand name.
lesson 3: i have finally learn the frequency and method to consume some of the medication. honestly, when we were in uni we didnt focus much on that. but now since i am expose to it. i know some of the medication like loratadine can be given OD, pseudoephedrine can be given TDS and antacids can be taken as long as you feel like you are getting gastric. lol...
so much to learn and i have so little time! i wish i have more time

driving 101

2010-05-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

today is my off day and i wanted to go kl to get some stuff to make more mini plushies. hehehehe. spontaneously my best friend agreed to teach me driving 101. lol so we went and steal (aka loan) my mom's car and drove around her area. where there is not many car. hehehe. i almost crash a few times and jam break too much. lol. but luckily nothing happen. hahahhaa... current still feeling a little blur about driving i guess i need more practise. hmmmm. got honk like a few times and flashed at. terrible driver

medication education

2010-05-15T22:49:00.003+08:00

after working for a few weeks i have decided to conclude that medication education to customers/patients are important. however, if your patient is an indonesian or bangla or indian (who is from india) then forget about it. they can be so ignorant. i mean come on, when the doctor says there is nothing wrong with you then you are fine. if you dont believe him, you can always go for a second opinion. (senario is when a patient came complaining his family member had some lump in the stomach and is asking for meds (==!), honestly i am not a doctor i dont know how to diagnose you). dispite, that i do pity them as they have financial problem. in my opinion, one should see a doctor if they are sick.
the worse part of all they like to come for gout medication. somehow i felt like they dont know what is gout. they just think oh my leg pain so there is gout but it can be arthritis too. goshies! another illness that i find very disturbing is that patient likes to come for pain killers. they love to abuse it. but somehow i felt like it is the pharmacy faults too cos they are selling it like hot cakes. i mean even you have pain one should not consume it so often. who knows they may get gastric. many who comes to pharmacy because of toothache. wtf! a pharmacist cannot help but to give meds to supress the pain. silly customers/patients. then when you give them now after when they finish the course they will come for more (==!). terrible! today i have the worse senario. patient came asking for antibiotic and guess what he said it was for heart medication or gout. omg! who is the one give out this information. i felt like killing that fellow or maybe i should kill the patient since it could also be that they are the one creating the confusion.
another problem is work politics. i really rather not work. no politics. feeling the stress now. wish i can relax!

a life time experience

2010-05-09T17:39:00.003+08:00

it has been awhile since the last time i blog. i have been pretty busy. currently, i am working in a retail pharmacy. it was fun yet sometimes it is challenging to me as i am still not confident i giving out medications to patients. i guess thinking twice does make me loose my confidence. oh well. i shall not worry and try my very best to learn. surprisingly i studied more when i am working than when i was a student. curiosity does kills me. somehow when customer asked some weird questions and i didnt manage to answer them i would go back and look it up. lol. in a day we can have so many different types of customers. there is one day with 2 ladies at different occasion one asking for drugs for abortion and the other asking for drugs to stop her menses. weird.
it is truly a life experience. one time i gave the customer the wrong dose of viagra. instead of the higher dose i gave him the lower dose. i have to call him back to change it. gosh! poor fellow if i didnt change it i guess he will be wondering why isnt it working.
i have also learn about some drugs such a ibuprofen where u could not give to someone with asthma as it may exacerbate asthma condition. but i have already given to the customer.
another thing that i learn is that ginkgo biloba can improve blood circulation and can help in muscle cramp or pain or dizziness. my boss would usually give it together with vitamin B12.
my boss also told me that isoflavones in soy mimics the womens hormone progestogen. thus, it may help in menopause womens.
there is so much to be learn. i am glad i took up this job though the pay is low but i sort of have fun. listening to customers complains and praise.

boredom

2010-05-09T17:27:00.002+08:00

1. Where is your cell phone: in my bag.

2. Your hair: wavy long layers

3. Your favorite food: sushi

4. Your dream from last night: not sure what did i dream about

5. Your favorite drink: starbucks caramel machiato, can someone send it to me now

6. Your dream/goal: to earn big bucks and travel around the world

7. What room are you in: office, having my break

8. What are your hobbies: Shopping, Making crafts and watching series

9. What is your fear: insects, public speaking

10. Where do you want to be in 6 years: somewhere that has 4 seasons

11. Where were you last night: at home playing with my red laptop

12. Something you are not: girl who apply lots of make ups

13. Muffins: Love-hate relationship. neutral, prefer cupcakes

14. Wish list items: Boy friend, Smart phone, Car, lots of cash and an air ticket to somewhere

15. Where did you grow up: KL (pure city girl)

16. Last thing you did: eating Pocky

17. What are you wearing: black working dress

18. Your TV: suppose to watch cake boss tonight but i have to work... sob sob sob

19. Your pets: I wanted a dog but my parents disagree with me

20. Your friends: i felt like i am group hopping but at least i manage to make new friends. i'm sure you all know who you are.

21. Your favorite store: kinokuniya, boutiques, restaurants

22. Your favorite color: White (actually i like anything that looks good by itself)

learning how to drive part 1

2010-04-22T08:00:00.001+08:00

lol... ironic right. i have a license and yet i have not been driving since a levels that is like 6 years back. well it is not that i dont want to drive it is just that my dad didnt want me to drive until now. when i am about to join the work force. gosh! i really know no head or tail about driving. so now the question is who wants to teach me how to drive? should i sign up for short courses or should i ask some pro to teach me? cannot decide. what shall i do?

a gust of inspiration

2010-04-20T23:41:00.002+08:00

hmmmm... today i had my interview with the government for my posting. it was not as bad as i thought it would be yet it was fun. guess what! i suddenly have inspiration on how i wanna spend my long vacation till i officially start work. hmmmmmmm.... make more doggies. i shall revive my doggy blog and post more.. this time there will be cats, mouse, turtle and many more.. weeeeee... ok maybe i have too much to drink. lol.. but it was only fruit juice. lol.............. then it must be the company. anyways.... some random pic.. or shall i say the most expensive gift that i have receive for this year

what to do for holiday?

2010-04-16T13:59:00.002+08:00

for the first time i dont know what i wanna do during my holidays. usually i would have one stack of video games waiting for me to play. but lately i have lost interest in video games. besides video game i may play online game. my all time favourite maple story. it took quite awhile for me to quit maple story. i would not wanna go back that path with the long hours sitting in front of the computers and wasting my time for something not productive.

hmmmmmm.... i am still considering what can i do for this holiday. gosh! now that i have freedom. i dont know what i wanna do. one would suggest me to go out. but lately i have no mood to do so. shopping? well lets just say i run out of cash. what about travelling? like i have said i have run out of cash. working? yes i will be working part time but it will be during MAY. baking? not in the mood to do so. making money via my mini plush? somehow i have no inspiration to do so.

weird! it is a holiday yet i dont feel like doing anything and i am bored. i wish someone could enlighten me to entertain myself.

end of student life?

2010-04-16T08:54:00.002+08:00

it feels like yesterday when i just enrolled for pharmacy course. i could not believed that i have survive 4 years of pharmacy course. i was skeptical when i enroll for this course as it is not something that i wanted. i wanted something out of the blue, which is still my passion. i would like it if one day i can venture into that field. though field work may not be something i would like but i do like the challenge. there are great and bad times during these 4 uni life years. there are lecturers that i am fond of and some that i even dislike. luckily i did not manage to make any enemies during my uni years though there are some people that i am not fond of. in my opinion, where ever you are there is always someone that you are not fond of.
so today i woke up realising that i am no longer a student. i will be joining the work force soon. thinking about the responsibility i have to take is killing me. i feel like i am not prepare for this. but i know i cannot run away from it. everyone have to grow up one day. the question is when? hopefully life would be more pleasing after this! looking forward for my first pay.

BONES

2010-04-08T21:20:00.002+08:00

one of my most favourite english series is bones. i had watched many series from CSI to house to project runway to america next top model to ugly betty and many more. somehow i am a tv freak. but since uni's timetable is so hectic i have resorted to streaming them. anyways bones is one of my most favourite. it is a story of a lady scientist who does not have any social skills and a detective who knows nothing about science. they work as a team to solve murder cases. The show is interesting as this two are deeply in love with each other 'that is what everyone thinks' but they are not together or lets just say they will never admit and neither will make a move. i just love how the show goes. finally.... this latest episode shows that they actually kiss. hahahaa.... didnt expect this to happen. the cases are always interesting as the other characters will do experiments to solve the cases. it is funny since those experiment always ended up blowing the laboratory up. somehow i just love this series..

what sort of birthday is this?

2010-04-08T17:12:00.002+08:00

birthday girl feeeling so bored today. why no one wanna teman me go watch movie? haih those that wanted to are not here. so birthday girl have to stay at home play poker. now birthday girl wanna go study lol..... ironic

pos 'boleh land'

2010-04-07T08:05:00.002+08:00

gosh i ddin't know dealing with pos 'boleh land can be such a pain in the ass. i was suppose to get my parcel yesterday however, i was having exam when the delivery guy deliver my parcel and i have the 'best' maid every whom does not understands simple instructions such as show this photocopy ID to the deliver guy and he will pass the parcel to you. So they drop me a note telling me to collect it from the main office. it is at kota damansara and the last time i went there i sort of got lost. so this time i decided to ask them to arrange for a second sending which i think i will be or i will make sure that i am at home to collect it. In order to arrange for 2nd delivery i have to call them. Gosh! i really do hate it when it goes to those sort of answering machine thingy. and when it finally reach the selection you want, it will tell you to hold as all operators are busy. %$%&^%*^%*&^! how busy can they be? i waited for like 10 minutes or more with some weird music on the other end. then the music stop. i was hoping that i was the operator on the other end but it was the voice machine telling me they were sorry and all their operators are busy and the music came back. !!@*&*(^&^&*%(!^@(!&! finally i decided to hang up and call again. i think the same process went on for a few times before the operator decided to pick up my call and deal with my problem. so in the end the operator told me 'your parcel will be delivered to you house on the 9th of april'. in the back of my mind; i want it now or by 8th. oh well i cannot complain since i am not willing to go there to collect it. i will just have to wait for it. hopefully what is inside is not a disappointment

New Begining

2010-04-03T08:40:00.002+08:00

i have decided to tear down the old post fot the bkog as i wanna start a fresh one. why is that so? well, it is not that the old post nor qoutes does not represent me. it is just that i find myself too reserve. as though i do not want people to know much about me and am worried about what other people think about me. i felt that it is time to change. to express what i want to or feel like. i should not over think the matter. besides that, i wanted to start new since many things had happen. i dont wanna look back into the past and feel the pain that i have been through but move on.